Vacation Time

It's vacation time.

Good thing I have no job and no real adult responsibilities.

So far on this vacation I have seen a dead chicken being eaten by kittens (gross, I know, but it's not something you see every day.  Also, I'm pretty sure kittens aren't supposed to do that), petted a donkey, hit a bird while driving (that's never happened to me before, it was really quite a shock), seen a motorcycle gang, driven fourteen hours, had donuts for breakfast, read to my niece for at least an hour, yelled under the overpasses (or as we like to call them, micro tunnels), and just been having a ball.

But Mom, I promise, no fun, we never have fun without you.

Meet Brother

A few weeks ago my brother told me "I'm going to start asking people what belt they are in carfu."

My thought process went like this: What the heck does that mean?

Then I said, "Brother, what the heck does that mean?"

So he told me what it meant.  He would have told me even if I hadn't asked.  See that's what happens when you talk to my brother, you learn a lot of things without ever having to ask.  It's fantastic.

Did you know there is more than one type of zombie?  Some of them protect you, while taking out all the other zombies, so they can have your brains all to themselves.

I know who I'm going to call when the zombie apocalypse happens.

By the way, carfu is the martial art of hurting people with a car... or something like that.

The Alphabet, or Twenty-Two

A:  I took Sister to work again today.
B.  5 am is way too early.
C.  What is Sister's work thinking!
D.  I waited an hour for ten minutes of a Japanese Drama to load on my computer.
E.  It's worth waiting for.
D.  I just typed a D, when I meant an F.
F.  Good thing I'm not in Kindergarten anymore.  
G.  I would fail.
H.  I went to see a movie.
I.  It was sold out.
J.  I bought a power strip instead.
K.  I have a soccer game tomorrow.
L.   I really like soccer.
M.  Pretty much, if I could, I would play soccer everyday.
N.  I bought my cleats from a thrift store.
O.  They still work fine.
P.  Thrift stores are fantastic.
Q.  I like to buy books there.
R.  I like to buy books anywhere.
S.  Books are fantastic.
T.  Apparently tomorrow is the end of the world.
Z.  I can't think of anything else to say.

Super Glue, or Where Are My Glasses?

Me: Where are my glasses?  Have you seen them?
Sister: Are those them on the bed?
Me: Crap!
Sister: What's wrong?
Me: I sat on them.

Having worn glasses for five years now, you would think I would be better at taking care of them.  However, in those five years I have broken my glasses at least six times.  I survived two years before I first broke them, but since then... they just keep breaking.

The first time was not my fault... I think.  They just, sort of, broke. 

The second time I forgot to take them off as I changed my shirt, they just snapped right in half.  I tried to tape them... It didn't work, they just drooped down my face.  I looked like a sad puppy dog.  I had to take them to get fixed.

The third time I broke them I was playing soccer and I decided to head the ball.  I was wearing my glasses and I'm not very good at heading the ball.  It wasn't my smartest moment.  Fortunately, I was able to fix them myself that time.  A little super glue solved everything.

The fourth time, I took a nap on the couch and they fell into the couch and I squished them.

After that, I was super careful with my glasses, until I dropped them on the ground and they broke.  They held together, but they were super crooked.  Really, really, really crooked.  When I glued them back together that was fixed.

Two weeks ago, I sat on my glasses. 

I can't find the super glue.
I know we have some, so I can't just go out and buy more.

My glasses are really, really, really crooked again.

Good thing I have contacts.

Why My Sister Owes Me for Life, or Sometimes it is Five in the Morning

Sometimes it is five in the morning.  Five AM, you might call it.  Ridiculously early, you might say.  And, sometimes when it is five in the morning, my sister has to work.  Now, normally I wouldn't care what time my sister works.  I sympathize, no one should have to be at work at five in the morning.  But, it's her, not me.

However, she doesn't drive.  At all.  Which means we have conversations that go like this:

Sister: Milsa, you want to take me to work tomorrow, right?
Me: [groaning] What time?
Sister: Five.
Me: I hate you.

But I take her to work, sacrificing my very important sleep, waking up hours before any person should be even thinking about venturing outside, and I even get her there on time.  Which is why she owes me for life.