The Sun

Sometimes the sun comes out. When it does, things that seemed impossible and insurmountable become manageable. It makes everything less frustrating, less hard, less hopeless.
Sometimes, when the sun comes out, it is like for a second the whole universe is rooting for you, cheering you on, giving you the boost you need to keep moving forward.
Sometimes, when the sun comes out, it is easier to walk tall, with a spring in your step.
Sometimes, when the sun comes out, the darkness fades to the distance, a shadow of pain that will pass.
And sometimes, when the sun comes out, it lightens up your soul, so that even when the clouds hide away the sun again, it isn't quite so hard to imagine how you felt in the sunlight.

Playing Pretend

I'm going to pretend it hasn't been a year since I last posted on my blog, and I'm going to pretend everyone knows that I lived in Scotland and Ireland for two months over the summer.
I'm also going to pretend everyone knows that I'm graduating in April (hopefully), and that I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life once I graduate.
I going to pretend everyone knows that I'm graduating in English, and that I don't want to become an English teacher.
I'm also going to pretend that I'm not terrified that I'm going to screw up this semester like I did last semester.
I'm going to pretend everyone knows about how terribly difficult last semester was for me.
I'm going to pretend that everyone knows that I tried not to give up, even though I'd already given up, and that the effort I summoned from the depths at the last minute meant something, even though it didn't change anything at all.
I'm going to pretend that I can deliver that effort this semester before it is too late.
I'm going to pretend that I believe that hard work pays off.
I'm going to pretend that it is easy to share private thoughts on a public blog.
And I'm going to pretend that I have hope in the future, because I don't, but maybe if I pretend long and hard enough I will start to have some.